"Mommy Moments"

So this past Saturday the kids competed in the Destination Imagination regional tournament. I was one of their team coaches and I was REALLY proud of them. It was so fun seeing them showing off all their hard work. The challenge that they completed was really tough and it was so awesome that they pulled it all together. I love seeing the serious looks on their faces, the effort and concentration, the joy, the pride, - one of the joys of parenthood is experiencing the world through the eyes of your children. Frequently, when I watch them doing something new or really rising above the every day, I get tears in my eyes - my friends and I often refer to these special times as a "mommy moment" - but I know daddies have these experiences too!

The Courtesy Jar

The Courtesy Jar

Courtesy Means:

1.	excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.

2.	a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression.

STOP BEHAVIOR = Marbles OUT	START BEHAVIOR = Marbles IN
Tantrums, Arguing, whining, complaining	Following Directions Taking initiative (doing things without being told) Doing something kind Being safe and respectful

1 Marble can be earned each day!

7 Marbles = REWARD

(Determined @ weekly family meeting on Sunday evening @ 7 p.m.)
So we have been struggling some at our house recently with arguing, whining, complaining, and just flat not listening. I adapted this idea for the "Courtesy Jar" a couple years ago and decided to bring it back out and give it a spin. It really helped curtail these unwanted behaviors when we used it before. I hope it works again. Personally, I am having a hard time with our FD's occasionally nasty and obnoxious behaviors. I know that she is "acting out" a lot of strong emotions at times - but other times I feel like she is just behaving like a regular kid- sometimes good, sometimes there's a lot to be desired! I'd like to help her move along and I want to be sure that I'm helping her learn what behaviors are okay and which ones aren't. There is a very fine line between what behaviors one needs to have patience with and those that you just need to nip in the bud. Having a child who has had a challenging life and inconsistent parenting in the past means that you have to try to help them learn that their experiences do not define them. Having a rough life is not an excuse for bad behavior. Kids have to learn to make good choices for themselves. I know these things, but how to effectively pass that message on to children is really hard! I want to be a friend, I want to be an ally, but I also need to be a parent - not a doormat. Ugg... this parenting stuff is WORK! Wish us luck with the courtesy jar- hope it inspires you too in your quest for happy and healthy family interactions!

Soccer Mom!

I am officially a "soccer mom" - for the first time in 10 years! I am also a soccer coach! This is exciting for me because I have never coached a sporting activity before. It is also scary because I have never played soccer and know very little about it. A great book to the rescue! The Absolute Beginners Guide to Coaching Youth Soccer
The authors have me pegged and thankfully really do provide the basic education that one needs to be a successful coach from underlying philosophy to the practical nuts and bolt of the game and of organizing practices. I love finding the perfect book to help me when I'm in a pinch!

Handipoint ~ Chore Chart Tool

I added a new link to my links list today... its www.handipoints.com and its an on-line chore chart tool for parents and kids. You can make the charts and either print them or just keep track of them on-line. Kids earn points and you can set up rewards... allowance, toys, donations to charity or whatever you want. They also have an on-line game that kids can play and they can use some of the points they earn to get stuff in the game too. We've used it in the past and have just recently re-started it and I really like it. The kids think its fun and its easier for me to keep up with and maintain than when I just try to constantly print out or make up charts myself. It offers a lot so I encourage you to check it out!
On a personal note, I like being able to have a list of activities and chores for the kids to do after school so that 1) they don't get bored and just want to annoy me and 2) they don't immediately dive for the DS, Wii, or T.V. Also, this puts the responsibility in their hands so I'm not a nag... I can just say ~ Check your handipoints and they can take it from there. Lastly, I like that the lists are totally customizable. We have this new activity that the kid's class at church is sponsoring called "Gems of Goodness" ~ I wanted to find a way to support that project which is about inspiring kids to notice all thing good things they do and to keep a log of them in a special notebook. However, I didn't want it to be a fight, like "YOU write about being good or else!" Using handipoints made it simple, I just added "do something nice for someone else" and "write in your gems of goodness notebook" as two items on the list. Now these activities are just a natural part of the "routine" and the kids like it because they get to earn points toward their allowance/reward and they enjoy these activities.
Okay, so there is my sales pitch... I just realized that they really should pay me for this! lol!

New Books!

Just received a package containing several new books that I recently ordered. I'm so excited! They are: "If You Had to Choose, What Would You Do?", 10-minute Life Lessons for Kids, What Do You Stand For (for kids), and Philosophy for Kids.

I'm really excited about having them, and yes, I'm realizing that I may have gone overboard, BUT they all look awesome and I'll space out their use with the kids.

The topic of values and ethics is something that just doesn't come up in everyday conversations, so its cool to find cool tools like these great books to help open conversations. I think this summer we'll look at the "What Do You Stand For" book, and I'm going to start the "What Would You Do?" book right away... it has short stories that describe a situation followed by questions about how you would react in you were in their shoes. Anyways, it looks very approachable and fun!

On a side note, I also ordered a book for F and her bio mom called "Just Mom and Me" (an American Girl product), it looks super fun too and I'm hoping that they enjoy the discussion and activity ideas that it includes.