There is nothing more fun and more frustrating than knowing that your home and your heart are open and ready for more children... and not being able to predict or control when those new members of the family will arrive. When we found out that infertility would limit (or render impossible) the opportunity to have a biological child, we both felt grief over the loss of a dream. My husband enjoys children and likes that we have them, but is not as wrapped up in the idea of parenthood as I am. I LOVE being a parent... it is my total passion and I have ALWAYS wanted to have several children, so, while he contends that he's content with where were are and the current size and form of our family, I have to take the credit (or fault) for pushing us towards adoption. Thank goodness he is supportive of the plan ~ also thankfully he is pragmatic and keeps me grounded in reality. (i.e. not biting off more than we can realistically chew- either in terms of numbers of children or in terms of financial decisions.)
Now about that adoption option... currently we are foster parents and are hoping that this path will lead us to a child (or two) who we will get to adopt. If it doesn't within the next year or so, then we'll look at some other options. In the mean time, I' m still trying to figure out what the ideal child (or children) will look like. I realize that its unrealistic to think that I'll get to adopt tons of children, so I need to try to key into what I really want... what would really satisfy my ticking clock and what would help me to feel that my family was really complete.
I kinda sorta know, but at the same time, even though I'm not consciously superstitious, I don't want to "jinx" us and end up passing up a great kid. Right now I'm feeling torn because I love having a child close to A-'s age. Its really wonderful for him to have a sis who is also a friend and not just a little baby pest. At the same time, I also want a baby. Having not had one in our family for 10 years, I feel mixed about the pros and cons of adopting an infant or very young child. It would mean a lot of changes to our everyday routines, a lot of baby equipment and toys, and it would be a psychological adjustment because it would be so new for all of us. I guess I just have to come to grips with the fact that I want two kids and I want one older and one younger. The timing might have to be extended because, logistically, it would take some doing to squeeze two more bodies (big or little!) into our house. Maybe a sibling group will magically appear. :) Who knows. What I do know is that I am excited! I know our children are out there somewhere and I know, someday, we will find them.
Now about that adoption option... currently we are foster parents and are hoping that this path will lead us to a child (or two) who we will get to adopt. If it doesn't within the next year or so, then we'll look at some other options. In the mean time, I' m still trying to figure out what the ideal child (or children) will look like. I realize that its unrealistic to think that I'll get to adopt tons of children, so I need to try to key into what I really want... what would really satisfy my ticking clock and what would help me to feel that my family was really complete.
I kinda sorta know, but at the same time, even though I'm not consciously superstitious, I don't want to "jinx" us and end up passing up a great kid. Right now I'm feeling torn because I love having a child close to A-'s age. Its really wonderful for him to have a sis who is also a friend and not just a little baby pest. At the same time, I also want a baby. Having not had one in our family for 10 years, I feel mixed about the pros and cons of adopting an infant or very young child. It would mean a lot of changes to our everyday routines, a lot of baby equipment and toys, and it would be a psychological adjustment because it would be so new for all of us. I guess I just have to come to grips with the fact that I want two kids and I want one older and one younger. The timing might have to be extended because, logistically, it would take some doing to squeeze two more bodies (big or little!) into our house. Maybe a sibling group will magically appear. :) Who knows. What I do know is that I am excited! I know our children are out there somewhere and I know, someday, we will find them.
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