Saying Goodbye - Our last weeks together

We knew this day was coming, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday when the case worker gave us the big news: our foster daughter will be making the permanent move back to her bio-mom's house in about two weeks. It is bittersweet time. She is thrilled, her mother is as healthy as she can be, and we know that having her birth family back together has been her dream from the moment she came into foster care. All that being said, there is going to be a big empty place in our home and in my heart. It has been a truly joyful ( if at times trying) experience to parent her. I have had the opportunity to experience what it is like to have a daughter - plan and celebrate a 10th birthday with a "spa party", paint nails, buy and make cute hair bows, and watch with interest, excitement, and trepidation as she began to be openly interested in boys. Her childhood is coming to an end and her adolescence is beginning. We got to be a part of this one small snapshot in time. It has been an amazing experience - one for which I will forever be grateful. I know we will stay in touch, but our time together as mother and child is coming to a close.

As part of the letting go process, I have decided to include our extended family (those who live near us and got to know her) as well as her classmates, in helping me create a memory book for her. I created a scrapbook for her previously, but this one will be different - it is less formal and it will have a lot more words! (I'm not big on journaling in my scrapbooks.) I've asked people to include a photo, drawing, or clip art at the top of each page and to write to her on the lines below. (See picture of format below.) I encouraged everyone to share a favorite memory they have of her, anything special about her that they particularly liked getting to know about, a wish they have for her future, and/or a favorite quote, poem, or joke. My husband's parents and my folks all live close and have gotten to know her so I think this will be a good opportunity for them to have a chance to say goodbye as well. Our son has already expressed the fact that he is going to miss her and that its going to be pretty weird not having her around. I hope this book will be a nice opportunity for him to process some of his feelings. I know it has been cathartic for me and I know my husband is excited about the idea too. She loves her scrapbook, I hope she loves this too!